One time, when I was in the best shape of my life, I had a new friend tell me that I was lucky because I was naturally lean. She had to work so hard to lose weight. This was laughable to me because it could not be further from the truth. I had been pretty chubby as a child until I realized I would not succeed in skating unless I had a lean and svelt body, leading to years of dieting and an obsession with weight loss.
This REALLY made me realize how you never really know what is going on in a person’s life–you know nothing about their relationship with food, exercise, and health in general, therefore it is impossible to make such assumptions.
The truth was, although I was finally feeling great in my skin at the time this comment was made, it had taken me 10+ years of extremely restrictive eating habits, tons of cardio, endless weight loss plateaus, and binge eating behaviors to finally lead me to a stable grounds and allow me to really lean out. Getting to that point was anything but easy and I still had very restrictive eating habits (which later lead to larger problems with binge eating).
The point is, next time you have something to say about someone else’s body, really think it over first. Not only is giving them feedback none of your business, but food and body image is unfortunately an extremely touchy subject (stemming from insecurities) and it’s really easy for what you are trying to say to get distorted in someone’s head. For example, I used to think “buff” meant “bulky.” Little did I know, when someone was calling me buff it meant I appeared lean, chiseled, and in shape to them! All this time a simple word made the difference between a compliment and an insult, a simple miscommunication ruling the way I viewed my body. How silly, in a dark and twisted way…
It is not your place to judge the journey of another. Air on the side of caution when making a comment about someone else’s eating habits or body shape, especially to young girls. Unfortunately, your comments hold more weight than you may think.